By now, with all the literature and articles available about depression vs. the blues vs. being out of sorts or just plain "blah" and other nomenclature used to describe feelings when you are other than content or outright happy or joyful, we know enough to recognize, stress from overwhelm from "burn out". Still there are days when we can't quite get a grip on the "down" feelings and even if we do intellectualize or analyze them correctly, we still may not be able to pull ourselves out of them. Sometimes we don't even want to pull ourselves out. Maybe we are too darn tired to do that. Still the nagging awareness that being in the dumps is not really where we want to be, causes us to make choices about what works best for us to move past them.
In the years ago sitcom Ally McBeal, she and other women resorted to eating their favorite ice cream right out of the 1/2 gallon cardboard container. In a world where women are forever watching their weight, something about that seemed right. Like we are entitled to do that when we feel sad or hurt so it was ok to eat large amounts of sugar right from the tub. Other people withdraw from interaction. Kind of like hiding out in your room 'til the dark clouds pass. Others use it as an excuse to be impolite, terse in response to others, pout, send people away. Some people sleep.
Over the years I've learned a variety of ways from clients and friends about coping with these heavy feeling days. Some of these may work for you or be worth a try if you have not tried them before:
*Narrow down and isolate specific reasons for your feelings.
*If the feeling is hurt, and you feel it in the pit of your stomach it's so bad, determine the very first time you ever felt this feeling. Does whatever is happening now that makes you feel this way harken back to the sensitivity that occured the first time? If so is the emotion exascerbated or intensified because of this sensitivity? If so, perhps you can re-evaluate it and find that this time it is not really as bad as it seemed.
*Are you taking on the woes of someone else? Is it beginning to engulf you? If so can you visually slide that burden off of you, particularly if there is no direct way for you to help in the situation for the other person or persons? You do not have to own the problem also.
*Are you a natural born worrier? Be conscious of it. Does the situation really require worrying? If so, is the degree of your worrying out of proportion with what the reality is? Move on mentally to other work, or interact with someone else. Get involved with something you like to do. Take some positive action.
*Can you reframe the issue? Is there another perspective you can gain from that issue? Perhaps you could perceive an advantage or some relief from the situation you had not seen before.
*Can you categorize the feeling as resulting from being overwhelmed and begin to prioritize and set goals for either accoplishing the tasks at hand or diminishing them by delegating or finding another way to bring you relief?
*Is the problem one of burn-out? If so you have been struggling with it for awhile. Make some plans for a new path of action to set your goals for. Take a rest, hot bath, jacuzzi. Have a massage, a pedicure. Play a pick up game of basketball, join a sports team set up in Parks & Recreation. Can't leave your computer? Play solataire or other games online during your lunch break if you can't get away. Watch low brow TV, anything that takes no effort, as long as you can enjoy it to some degree. Take time for your children - to just watch and enjoy them. Play with your dog or cat. Get a hug from a lover. Check your vitamin intake and get a blood panel done and a physical. Set some action steps to move through.
*Momentarily feeling stress from issues you usually can handle? Is there a physical component that causes you to be low on energy? Can you cut yourself some slack because of that and just be? Physical exercise, especially cardio exercise can reduce the negative feeling. Eat properly, forget the ice cream. Determine the stress and effective methods to reduce or eliminate it. You know how to do this within yourself because you undoubtedly have had to do it before. Sometimes little prayers help for some as well.
If you still feel like molten lead emotionally and are dreading continuing like that, help someone else with their problem. Tell yourself that you are not going to indulge yourself and wallow in the abyss any longer. Rather take action to move out of the deep hole you slipped into. Get on your own case! It's fine to remind yourself of people less fortunate than you are, but actually actively doing something kind, generous, or just listening to someone else express their problem or needs will help you. Becoming involved with helping others recover allows you to distract yourself from the either the comfortable negative space you find yourself in, or the higly uncomfortable, anxiety ridden, out-in-the-open vulnerability to the slightest discomfort space you might be in.
No one to help? Journalize. Write in a diary. Send an e-mail to a friend who will actually read it and respond supportively. Go to a class or seminar. Listen to a sermon in church. Read a novel or just peruse those magazines you never get a chance to read.
The sun will come up tomorrow as Orphan Annie always said. Make it happen. (Thanks Tim).
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